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take_my_mother

some one please

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For people with difficult mothers

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October 28th, 2008

Just a need to vent

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mothers
My mother is up to her usual criticisms and shennanigans as far as I'm concerned.

She is still weight nagging but this is coupled with her berating me about my general appearance.

I'm struggling ok.

You passing me snipits out of magazines about people who've lost a lot of weight is not helpful. Neither is you criticizing the way I dress and the fact I don't wear makeup.

I make sure everything I wear is clean and ironed and I take care of my clothes what I wont' do is plaster my face with make up.

If I'm 'going out' to a 'do' then I will but otherwise no it is an effort and I will only forget I'm wearing makeup and end up spreading it around my face when eyes inevitably itch.

I've told you a million times in varying ways that I'm not coping well at the moment, I'm obviously stressed and unhappy and still you think its helpful to add to the burden.

Gah.
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February 24th, 2007

On explaining to my mother why I find things so difficult to do and can't get a job at the moment, her response was:

"u will never get anywhere then u will always be depressed with no money and nothin nice to look forward too and ur friends wont want to be round someone with depression forever"

Thanks mum. Thanks a lot.

x-posted

February 6th, 2007

What to do?

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I can't tell you how happy I am that I came across this community.
I've been looking for somewhere like this since I first got my LJ - which was a long time ago.

So, for some background. I am an only child and have a very small family. My father passed away five years ago which, understandably, has left my mother devastated as they were married for over 40 years. She has always been impossible but has got so much worse since dad's not around. She nags about everything and says it's because I am the only person she can nag as the only other close family member is my grandmother (her mother) who is 85.

Anyway, we have countless rows with most of them being about my fiance Mark. She has never liked anyone I have ever gone out with and Mark is no exception. She does know we're engaged but she doesn't approve of him at all, saying things like how he's not what she imagined for me and how his job isn't good enough (he manages a bar/hostel in Camden) and how he doesn't have his own house/car etc. She can't understand that he makes me happy and that is all that matters - no matter how many times I try to tell her. She hasn't told any of her friends I am engaged (I assume because she feels embarassed). Only my grandma knows and she is happy for me (and always asks how Mark is when we speak).

She also uses emotional blackmail to try and re-inforce her points such as "your father would turn in his grave if he knew you were engaged to someone like Mark" etc etc etc. You can see why I am upset.

Anyway, I decided that I was going to go ahead and set our wedding date, book our venue and registrar - which I've done. The wedding is in September this year and all our friends and all Mark's family are over the moon.

I've not told mum yet. I have no idea how to do it. She is going to FLIP. I have run over what I am going to say over and over again in my head but when it comes to it I just can't get the words out. She won't like the venue, she won't like that we've picked somewhere intimate so that she can't invite too many random family members who I hardly know and she will just huff and puff about the whole thing making snide comments and making me feel bad.

How do I tell her? Such a MASSIVE part of me wants to not tell her at all and just let her know after the wedding but my maid of honour and bridesmaids have told me I'll regret that. I am not sure that I will but I know she'd never let me live it down.

Can anyone help? Obviously most of you reading this have difficult mothers. Have you ever been in this situation? I am desperate for some advice.

Thanks

February 4th, 2007

No I've had digs about the boy all weekend,

I am tired of it.

October 6th, 2006

Mothers and telly.

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wtf
Just been on the phone to the mother. She spent roughly 40 minutes telling me, in great detail, about what happened on Who Do You Think You Are? Not just one epidsode either. She started off with David Tennant ("His relatives were in the Orange Order, which he wasn't comfortable with"), moved on to David Dickinson ("His mother was Armenian you know, and his adoptive grandmother liked the men") and was starting on Barbara Windsor ("Doesn't know how to open train doors") when I claimed I had an important call coming through.

She does this all the time. Usually it's programmes from Animal Planet though.

July 21st, 2006

because we don't want you going backwards and looking like ...

that was when I screamed.

STOP PATRONISING ME!!!

July 18th, 2006

We've been quiet...

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mothers
So I can only assume that we are all getting on brilliantly with our
mothers or is something far more sinister going on?

So in order to fill the void how about writing a paragraph about yourself
and your relationship with your mother?

I'll kick off...

my motherCollapse )


What does your mother do?

July 10th, 2006

Like I'm not 27...


Yes I live at home and yes it is incredibly stressful.

The thing is she manages to push all my buttons and makes me regress to teenager tantrums... :(
Hi welcome to take_my_mother

Mothers are a strange lot and this is intended to be space where people with a difficult mother can come to for moral support.

Mum's are a special breed and by and large we love them because let's face it we only get one. This is not to say they do not irritate us all to hell and back on a regular basis.

This community is not closed and by default can be read by anyone, I would like to keep it that way for the time being so be aware.

General ettiquette, please put swearing behind a cut.

This is a space for support and advice please be respectful of other's experiences and thoughts.

Other than that...

Enjoy

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